In Praise of Intuition
5 Jan 2017
Hello from Peet’s, my little caffeinated hideaway, blessedly only two blocks away from our apartment. The babysitter is with Micah, and I fought the urge to just fall asleep in the car (lolz) and came here instead for an Earl Grey fortification. Every time I try to log in to my blog, I have forgotten my password. Ha! Probably as good an indication as any of how frequently I get to it.
This is one of my favorite times of year–not just for the family and festivity and beautiful liturgies, but for the opportunity to look back and look forward, doing old Janus proud. This year I saw Susannah Conway’s free workbook Unravel Your Year mentioned somewhere, and I am working through it little by little. It has really been an amazing exercise, and definitely one I think I’ll want to do every year. So far I am still on the 2016 part, but it has been encouraging and comforting and surprising all at once.
To wit: I sat down to answer the question about my word for the past year and was all geared up to reflect on how my word was “savor,” and that it was a good word for living in the moment instead of having a big goal or plan, and then…I looked it up and realized that “savor” was my word for 2015! Ha! My word for 2016 was actually “grow,” which has a similar gradual sort of feel and was very good for this toddler-mom year.
In looking back through the year and actually trying to remember it (more lolz here), I was proud to see that in some ways I really have grown. Not in all ways, and I will have more growing to do for the rest of my life (I most sincerely hope), but I had a happy sense of accomplishment in an area that is sometimes challenging, but not impossible, to measure.
I scrolled through my blog posts from 2016 (not many!), and I found this post about my plans and goals for 2016. I had completely and utterly forgotten that I had written it. And yet…I actually did do those things I hoped to do. It was definitely one of those chills-down-your-spine moments, as I realized that even though I have given those goals (and my word, apparently) exactly zero attention this past year, I still somehow managed to live them out. Not perfectly, no. I did not read a book in Russian! (Maybe I should start with some comforting stories? Pushkin Book Club, anyone? I have an odd urge to reread Povesti Belkina!) But I did so much. And I am so entirely grateful for whatever intuition it was that led me to and through the things I did and learned this past year. It reminded me just a tiny bit of the feeling you have when you do something you did not think you could do, and then when you actually do it, you realize that that ability was actually in you all along. It is a powerful and humbling feeling.
So here I am again at the beginning of a new year, which will be very new indeed. I feel about as unprepared for it as I did not remember feeling last year (but my blog post reminded me!) And so I am not shaken by that unprepared feeling. I will come around to it, I am sure, sometime in February or so. As we journey through these first few weeks of the year, some ideas and goals will find me, and I’ll jot them down here. If nothing else, this whole experience has been such an encouragement to do that, to get words on paper, or on a screen, in this case.
I am excited for this year. I want to write (and am planning to write) about my word for 2017, what I hope it will hold, and millions of other little things too. The best thing I can do, I think, is to try to establish a habit. So here I am getting started, reminding myself of the pleasure of the staccato of computer keys. It’s good to be back. But my tea is gone, and it’s time to head to dinner with my Orhan Pamuk novel (the height of luxury!) Happy, happy new year to you all! I’ll be back soon.

Jan 05, 2017 @ 07:00:33
Wonderful to see you back! To tell you the truth I don’t know what my goals were for 2016. But I know for sure that whatever I did do, I followed my intuition. Growth happens whether we know it or not.
Jan 11, 2017 @ 13:55:34
So true, and so well said! It’s so beautiful to think about all the things we learn and do without even realizing it!
Jan 05, 2017 @ 17:38:55
So glad to see you back! I think 2017 holds a tremendous amount of new possibilities and I look forward to experiencing them with you in a new place.
Jan 11, 2017 @ 13:56:23
I can’t wait to explore with you! So many cool places to go, so many microbrews to drink:)
Jan 06, 2017 @ 05:56:53
happy new year!
Jan 11, 2017 @ 13:56:41
Thank you! And happy new year to you too!
Jan 06, 2017 @ 08:24:59
Oh my gosh, I went to feedly this morning just to see if there was anything new and I saw this and my heart literally (said the P&R way) jumped in my throat! Or however that expression goes.
I am so glad to see you back here (once a week? We can do it together!) and to know that, despite the move (so soon!), you are doing well and making time for yourself: planning for the new year, drinking tea, reading Pamuk (I will make my peace with him one day).
2016 was weird; no question in my mind about this. I wasn’t as good with my goals as you were (truth be told, I think mine were probably more amorphous, more along the lines of simply planning and surviving the weddings), but 2017 is a new year and I am determined that new opportunities should present themselves (or be made).
In any case, a very happy new year to you, dear friend! xx
P.S. I read an article on “super aging” recently and I am game for this long-distance Russian bookclub; apparently, if we continue to challenge our minds, our brains could still look to be in their 20s when we are actually in our 80s. This may also finally get me to crack the new Greek textbook Kostas’ aunt kindly and nudgingly sent to me last year. 🙂
Jan 11, 2017 @ 14:01:43
Oh, you are so sweet! Thank you for the warm welcome back! It is, of course, a highly illogical time to start blogging again, but I hope I can make a habit of it. Yes, once a week! I have such a backlog of stuff I want to write about! Um, I think you accomplished A METRIC TON in 2016! Three weddings! One of them overseas! You are a super boss, my friend. But I am happy for you to have a year ahead with no major events to plan, so that you can sink into your armchair, in literal and figurative terms, and do the things you most want to do:) I was just reading about the snowstorm in Istanbul, and it put me in mind of “Metel’.” And, of course, they had Pamuk commenting on it (the snow, not Pushkin!) If you are going to read Pamuk, please start with The Museum of Innocence! Sooooooo good! Maybe you can give me some Japanese recs too–I still have in mind that it would be awesome to read around the world, and I know nothing about Japanese literature. If we do such a thing, we should *definitely* also have culinary accompaniments for each book:) I can’t wait to try the wedding tea when we get all settled and unpacked. Much love to you, BFF, and happy happy happy new year!
Jan 06, 2017 @ 16:42:05
Welcome back! 🙂
Jan 11, 2017 @ 14:02:34
Thank you so much! Happy new year to you, sweet friend!