16 Feb 2016
Words come to us in funny ways. I think this is the furthest in advance I have ever come upon one, sometime around the summer of 2015. I so distinctly remember the moment. I was strolling down a shady sidewalk with Micah, enjoying a quiet moment and thinking about my life. Thinking about where I was, what I was hoping for, what was coming next. I felt so happy. I am so happy. And so grateful for that! And what I most wanted and hoped for was to just keep growing, as a person, as a mom, as a wife. I wanted to keep learning and experiencing new things. I wanted to keep traveling to new places. I wanted to become kinder, more generous, more compassionate, more patient, more good.
One of the ideas I got from doing Ali Edwards’ One Little Word class a few years ago was to look up the synonyms and definitions of your word. I love the ones for grow so much. Advance. Become. (Ohhh, I love that one!) Build, cultivate, develop, flourish, mature, rise, thrive. I want all of those things for myself. And for all of you! This is my favorite definition of grow: “to increase by natural development, as any living organism or part by assimilation of nutriment; increase in size or substance.” I love that connection with the natural world. I want to turn my face to the sun and soak up every good thing like roots draw water. I want to work at growing every day, even and especially in infinitesimal, undetectable increments that somehow add up to a sturdy green stem and a riotously colorful bloom.
It doesn’t surprise me at all that learning new things is a big happiness booster. It expands our conception of our selves. It makes the world seem full of possibility. It gives us new tools, whether they are languages or skills or insights. And it doesn’t require much from us–not necessarily any money at all, just a bit of time and maybe a library card (and, okay, maybe a bit of planning). I have always been the kind of person who thinks nothing sounds more fun than learning a new language, and lately I am endeavoring to learn more of the names of the birds and trees and flowers and succulents that make up the moving wallpaper of my daily walks with Micah. The world is truly so full of splendors.
Of course, not all of this growing is going to be joyful. There’s also the growth that comes from pruning, which will definitely be painful. I don’t know yet what sort of pruning will come my way this year, but I hope that I can meet it with grace. And humor. And the memory of all the basil I lost a few summers ago when it went to seed due to…lack of pruning. It is my great hope that at the end of this year, I will look back and think, “Yes, I grew, and I learned, and I gave, and it was good.”