On New Parenthood
3 Sep 2014
At the risk of jinxing ourselves, I think we are getting the hang of this new parent thing. Eric and I were laughing the other day about how we’ve become parent ninjas. As soon as the baby’s down for a nap, we dash off to start the laundry/load the dishwasher/check our email/take a shower/make the bed. Okay, that last one was just a joke to see if you were paying attention. Ain’t nobody making the bed around here. Ain’t nobody complaining about it either.
In those first days at home, Eric asked me what I was most surprised by about being a mom so far. (He can always be counted on to ask sweet and thoughtful questions like this). I told him first that it was hard in a way that you can’t appreciate until you’re actually living it. Not impossible hard,Β and not even unhappy hard,Β but just challenging, mostly in the sleep deprivation arena. It reminded me of how I understood intellectually that morning sickness and labor were going to be hard, but I didn’t really understand what that meant until I got there. Happily, we are already sleeping an awful lot more than we did in those first weeks, but I’ll tack on an addendum: I have been surprised by how quickly you adjust to your new normal in terms of sleep. I always wondered how I would manage that, since an hour of tossing and turning in the night used to all but wreck my day. Now, six hours of sleep is my personal heaven, and I get a few naps in during the day while Micah is sleeping too. It’s awesomely manageable!
I also said that I couldn’t believe it was so much fun already. He said the same. Eric is a happy person, but I have never seen such delight in him as when he is with our son. It is amazing to watch. I’ll be down the hall putting clothes in the dryer and I’ll hear him giggling away at something Micah has done. And there are new sweet and funny things he does nearly every day.
I’d likewise add that all those parenting cliches are so, so true. It turns out that there is nothing better than holding a sleeping baby or being the recipient of a baby smile. Your whole heart is outside your body now, swaddled and lightly snoring in his crib. You can’t, in fact, imagine your life without this tiny perfect creature. I’ve never ever loved cliches this much.
And I love that we have retained the playfulness of our relationship, even while juggling so much new responsibility. The first couple of days, as we were adjusting to a new (lack of!) schedule and worrying about whether or not our baby was eating/sleeping/pooping enough, most of our conversations took place with furrowed brows and concerned expressions. As we got the hang of things, though, laughter crept right back into our lives. What you really need, I think, when you are entering a whole new world, is someone who can make you laugh, someone who can remind you that you are still you, even as you step into a demanding new role.
I have been really happy to find that my favorite things about our marriage have carried over into parenthood. We each truly want what is best for the other, and we find joy in being kind to each other. We communicate so well, and we are so good at asking each other for help when we need it. I feel like these last six weeks have shown us parts of each other that we never saw before. One night I was having trouble calming Micah, and Eric took him in his arms and said, “Here, Micah, come see your Daddy,” and I just stood there and cried, the happiest of tears.

Sep 03, 2014 @ 12:00:27
Awww! Parent life looks awesome! =D And, cuz I am vain like this, gotta say–how’d you keep your shape?!!? You’re still so slim! I am worried if I am ever preggo I will take after my Mom, who gained around 60-70 pounds!
I love that Eric asks you questions, my boyfriend does, too & its awesome π
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:56:52
Thank you so much, Mary! You are so sweet! Oh ha, I definitely have weight to lose! It’s just hiding behind the stroller handle! I am sure you would be totally fine–you are in great shape, and you eat so well! I have to tell you, I am just SO HAPPY to see you so happy with Michael! There has been so much awesome on your blog lately–very glad it has been such a wonderful summer! π XOXO
Sep 03, 2014 @ 13:41:14
Yes, honey, you and Eric are the poster children on how to gracefully make such a wonderful, but majorly stressful change in your lives. Love all of you!
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:57:38
Thank you so much! And thank youi for your constant love and support. I so look forward to calling you at 7am every day! π
Sep 03, 2014 @ 13:42:02
Oh! And look at the sweet feet sticking out of the stroller!
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:57:51
I know! I am in love with them!
Sep 03, 2014 @ 19:23:42
I knew you two would be great parents. I mean isn’t that what PhD stands for? Parenting in high Definition?
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:58:05
Hahaha, thank you!
Sep 04, 2014 @ 06:35:10
It was so great to see the two of you working in unison to care for Micah. Having the little guy asleep in my arms was pure delight. Let’s do again… and again…!
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:58:17
Let’s do, let’s do! π
Sep 04, 2014 @ 07:59:30
Well look at you, Mrs. Skinny! You and Daddy look SO happy as you are lovingly looking at your sweet Micah! Glad to hear that your adjustments are coming along…and that the sweetness of your marriage continues…and GROWS. Hugs to you, Sweet Mama!
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:58:54
Thank you so much, Dianna! There is a lot of love and a lot of laughter in house these days:) Feeling so very very grateful for it!
Sep 04, 2014 @ 11:12:47
My favorite? Micah breath on my neck as he is snuggled in. Nothing like it in the entire world! I can close my eyes and feel it. (and I’m never washing that part of my neck again.) Ahhhh. . . . .
Sep 05, 2014 @ 17:59:34
I know what you mean! Even on the fussiest of days, I still linger while rocking him just to keep kissing his sweet little cheeks.
Sep 04, 2014 @ 21:15:17
I am happy for you two! I had a feeling you would be wonderful parents! Micah is one lucky boy and he is already starting out to have a wonderful childhood full of love. π
I remember when we first had Luna how much my relationship with Ryan changed. (For the better!) There really isn’t anything like it…it was like this whole arena of our relationship opened up that I never knew existed.
Sep 05, 2014 @ 18:00:43
Thank you so much, Alex! I have loved watching you and Ryan have so much fun with Luna! You have such a wonderful marriage and are such fantastic parents:) Thanks for the good example! I know we have an awful lot to learn, but we are having so much fun along the way:)
Sep 05, 2014 @ 08:28:20
so happy that all is going well for you and your new little family! The best way to test a marriage is to have a baby π Now you are both partners in this new phase and it’s wonderful to have someone to share the responsibility!
Sep 05, 2014 @ 18:01:28
Thank you so much, Karen! It really is wonderful to share the little laughs and smiles and coos, and the sleepless nights too! Lots of joy around here:)
Sep 16, 2014 @ 08:08:04
watching my boys interact with their father and him with them is always a joy.. it’s amazing how H’s eyes light up when he’s sees his dad and D runs screaming to him as he walks through the door.. Dad’s are our hero’s
Good to hear you both our enjoying parenthood.. it is a love and happiness unimaginable and immeasurable..